When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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