Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
