And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
