i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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