She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
