How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
