I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
