If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
