Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
