I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
