Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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