hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
