You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
