yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
