Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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