Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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