i don't like sucking hair
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
