I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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