Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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