I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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