seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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