Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

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(972): View more from Texas

some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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(914): View more from New York

all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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(785): View more from Kansas

She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.

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(529): View more from

Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.

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(406): View more from Montana

I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character

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