i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
