chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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