i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
