what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
