filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
