my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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