I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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