The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
