I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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