You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
