your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
