I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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