wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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