Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
