Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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