My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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