fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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