I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
