I just pynch a tree in the face
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize