Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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