is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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