i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
