I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize