I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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