Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize