Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
