I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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