On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
