so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize