Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
