And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
