I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
