i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
