Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
