Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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