Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
