The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
