so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
