Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
